Chapter 3: If Books & Bookshelves Could Talk

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if bookshelves or even books could actually talk to each other, maybe even to us?!  (Besides the words written on their pages of course.)  What would they say?  How would their conversations go?  (Yes… this is what goes on in my mind.)  Think about it.  Think about all the knowledge, history, fun, laughter, tears, life and love live on those shelves.

Here is just a small snippet of how I see things going.

Parenting & Pregnancy is placed somewhat near Children’s.  Coincidence?  I think not.  One of the Pregnancy shelves sees all the disarray in the Childrens section, looks over at Romance and says “You know this is all your fault!”  They both look over at Young Adult and see what is to come in the future and hear, “Gosh, look at him, what a Potter head.  Oh yeah, check out Fangirl over there.”


I’d like to think this all goes on after the doors are shut on the bookshops after hours at night, but you know this probably isn’t true.  All this goes on while we are there browsing but in a voice or language that is inaudible to human ears.  You know Sci-fi loves this.  They’re over there gloating, “Ha! Silly humans, can’t even hear what we’re saying.  Clearly we’re in a completely different realm.”

Cooking is over having a chat with Health & Fitness, “You’ve got to try my new cheesecake recipe, it is to die for!”  “You know I can’t do that!  Summer is coming soon and I’ve just started this new diet.”  “Suit yourself, more for me.  Enjoy your kale!”

Then there’s Poetry…

“Upon my shelves lie some of the best.

We are far superior than all of the rest.”

Horror does not take kindly to this and viciously glances over.  “Careful Poetry… might want to keep one eye open when you’re sleeping.  MUHAHAHAHA.”

Fashion and Photography seem to be ignoring all of this, “A little to the left, a little more, PERFECT!  That’s it, that’s the shot!”  “Does this shelf make my spine look big?  How’s the lighting?  I want to make sure my title looks perfect.  Do you think I should be faced?”

History is chatting (debating) with Fiction, “If you only knew what we’ve actually lived through, you try, but you have no idea.”


Antiquarian chimes in, “Nice try History, but in our day we didn’t have fancy dust jackets or covers.”  They call over to Childrens, “Hey kids, come check this out.”  “Woooaaah, look at that marbling.”  (Antiquarian glances back at History)  “How’s THAT for history.”

True Crime is often very quiet, they’re just trying to be on their best behavior in hopes to get chosen and move on to their page turning parole.

Then there’s Travel, Travel is just in a constant state of excitement.  “Where are we going? Where do you want to go?  Pick me!  Pick me!  I’ll show you the best places, just you wait and see.  It’ll be amazing.”

I won’t even get started with the argument going on between Religion and Science.

And all the while Self-Improvement is always trying to keep the peace and positivity.  “You’ve got this!  We’ve all got this! Just be yourselves and they’re going to love you!  I promise.  Here, here are some steps to help you out if you need them.”


All this and many MANY more.  So next time you’re browsing your favorite bookshop, I hope you think of the fun conversations those shelves and books are having.


Chapter 2: Spirit Animal

I know many of you were probably expecting to see a picture of an animal attached to this post.  Sorry to disappoint, but for me, my spirit animal happens to be an author.  Helene Hanff to be exact.  There’s a bit of a backstory to this, so stay with me.

Helene Hanff is most well known for her book 84 Charing Cross Road.  People ask how I first heard about the book.  While I’d love to have some amazing story behind this part, I don’t.  But….  84 has been my favorite number since I was in high school (this is not a lie, ask my family and friends).  That being said, I may or may not have been looking one day to see if there were any books that had the number 84 in the title.  Why?  No idea.  Were there cocktails involved? Maybe.  Was I bored?  Probably.  But lo and behold the first book to show up in the results was 84 Charing Cross Road.

After reading the brief synopsis I immediately went out and bought the book.  Read it in one night.  Laughed and nearly cried throughout the entire thing.  The connection was instant.  I sat there thinking…. This is me.  We share similar writing style (please tell me if I’m wrong) as well as the same sense of humor, sarcasm, passion and love.  Before coming to my spirit animal conclusion I of course had to find other books she had written just to be sure.  I found and purchased The Duchess of Bloomsbury Street, Q’s Legacy, Letter from New York, and The Apple of My Eye (and I’m still on the hunt for Underfoot in Show Business).

Below are a few definitions I have found that explain what a spirit animal is.

“A representation of the traits and skills that you are supposed to learn or have.”

“A person or character that represents your inner personality.  Someone who behaves as though they are showing your feelings through their own actions.”

“An animal who chooses you or you choose it to get guidance and learning to help you thru life.”

That being said, after reading all her books, there was no doubt Helene was surely my spirit animal.  If she were alive today I would do everything in my power to meet her.  In her life she did reply to nearly all her fan mail so I’d like to think there would be a chance.  However I’d probably have to refrain from mentioning the spirit animal part.  Wouldn’t want to come across as crazy or stalker like.  Who knows though, maybe she’d appreciate it.

Just as the spirit animal definition states.  I’m certain Helene definitely chose me, (even if she doesn’t know it).  Although she probably does know and is somewhere saying “Of course I chose you, you nut!  I’m only on your shelf 9 times, soon to be 10 or more!”

Needless to say I can only hope to embody a small portion of her spirit and perhaps one day have great books published as well.  Until then, Helene has my heart and I hope I can entertain you just as much through these posts as she entertained me with her books.

Some call it a problem, I call it passion.  Yes, I have 5 different editions of the same book.  Yes, when I find others I will get those as well.  No, I don’t see this as a problem.




Chapter 1: The Comeback Kid

The Comeback Kid, isn’t that the name of a movie or a song or something? 😉

Well, I’m back, in a slightly different format.  We are all constantly reinventing ourselves, so… this is my reinvention.  The artist formally known as Petticoats & Rootbeer Floats.  Of course I still love that content and of course I’m still the same person who wrote all of it, so of course there will still be the random awful puns and silly wordplay and of course I am still writing with a pencil an paper before the typed edition reveals itself.  However… I’ve evolved (beside the pencil part of course).  You can’t blame me!  We all evolve!  That crazy Darwin and his evolution.

I currently write this in my ‘Not all who wander are lost’ journal.  Whomever came up with that lovely quote is lying.  I mean… not entirely, I wander all the time (it’s even a portion of the title of this blog).  And while I’m never directionally lost (not often at least) I happen to be personally lost.  Always.  Period.

Do I have my life together?  No.  Not even close.  Am I going to have my life together any time soon?  Not likely.  If I had a Magic 8 Ball nearby to shake it would indefinitely read “Outlook not so good.”

Ah, such is life.  My life.  The crazy, wild, fun, awful, awesome, horrible, beautiful disaster of a life that is all mine.

My mom keeps telling me she misses my writing so she’ll be thrilled (or not) to be reading this.  And if you too have gotten this far, please stay with me.

The question becomes, what will I write about?  I haven’t a clue (as if the first portion of this post didn’t already give that answer away).  I will tell you this much… I’ll write what is in my head at the time inspiration hits me.  If you’re scared… you should be.  I am!  My brain is on some sort of natural constant stimulant and absolutely no depressant will slow it down.  Trust me, I have experience with this.  I get depressed many (many) times and yet the brain keeps going.

Ask me how fun it is….  Ask me how fun it is when I try to sleep at night.  Trying to shut this thing off is probably worse than trying to put a newborn baby to sleep.  Ok, maybe not.  I don’t know what that is like and I certainly hope to never find out.  (No offense.  You mothers are a gift from the heavens, especially mine).  Needless to say, you get the picture.  Even now, you’re probably thinking “SHUT UP ALREADY!”  I hear you.  I get it.  I promise this chapter will end soon (maybe).  But don’t forget, this is Chapter 1!  There certainly will be a Chapter 2, just you wait.

Moving on.  For those who don’t already know, I read, alot.  Not as much as some, but plenty more than many (again, part of the title of this blog),  This happens to be another effect of the over stimulated brain affliction.  All this being said, I may write about the books I read or have read, or about my physical wanderings, or both together, or maybe about my mental wanderings (God help us, any and all Gods…. Honestly).

Who is looking forward to Chapter 2??? (If you are, you’re a saint and I love you already).